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Bristow's Inferiors    
 

The Post Boy

 


A post boy plans for a glittering future in the Buying Department

Of the many who see becoming a buying clerk a step up, the brightest of the bunch is the post boy. Often to be seen with a little arrow pointing him out, he wears a bow tie and has short spiky hair. Whilst the buying clerks get the usual things for Christmas (hankies, pens, aftershave) the post boy gets executive briefcases and subscriptions to Financial Things. And yet this likely lad has a secret ambition. He has his eye on Bristow’s desk. Whenever Bristow is storming round the building threatening to jack it all in and walk out, it is the post boy who plans exactly where the waste paper basket and cupboard will be moved once he is installed in Bristow’s chair. He therefore studies Bristow's"working" habits closely, hoping perhaps to learn the secrets of how to do nothing all week and still get paid. When Bristow does appear to do some work, this is fascinating strip 4680. The post boy firmly believes himself to be tenth in line for Chief Buyer. This causes no little distress to Bristow, who is, and has always been, stuck at eighteenth.

There is a rumour that the post boy is actually related to Sir Reginald Chester-Perry, whom he has been known to address as "Uncle Reg", and that he is destined for great things.  Perhaps this explains the frequency with which he comes up with bold plans to reorganise the offices, if not the entire business. His weakness is that he tends to expound such matters to Bristow. He is also fond of asking Bristow for advice and stories about the "old days". Bristow is not always very encouraging strip 3799.

The Post Room is no sinecure. When one Duane Bloggs, a school-leaver is introduced as a prospective colleague, the lads at once get into a vigorous fist fight.


Rivals in love?

Like every other male in the building, the post boy is smitten with Miss Pretty of Kleenaphone. Bristow puts him down roughly: "Girls in turquoise uniforms with hair the colour of ripened wheat, dark fringed blue eyes and a rosebud mouth don't go for spotty faced little kids with grubby shirts and inky fingers". Alas this only backfires when after Bristow suffers yet another rejection the post boy can point out that "girls in turquoise uniforms...don't go for middle aged buying clerks with shiny suits and well-filled waistcoats".

The post boy has been in C-Ps at least as long as Bristow but he is still the post boy. The contrast between his ambitions and his achievements is nearly as striking as Bristow’s own.

 

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